Balancing Ambition with Wellbeing

Key Insights

  • Effective leadership hinges on balancing the drive for achievement with the necessity for calm and awareness of stress indicators.
  • Early recognition of stress signs allows for swift adaptation and maintenance of a healthy performance state.
  • Cognitive strategies and self-compassion are essential for sustainable high performance and well-being.

Understanding the Drive-Threat-Calm Triad

In our relentless pursuit of success, the boundary between fostering ambition and maintaining wellbeing often becomes obscured. This delicate balance is crucial not only for our professional achievements but also for our mental and emotional health. Central to navigating this balance is understanding the Drive-Threat-Calm triad, a psychological framework that offers profound insights into our behavioural patterns and emotional responses in the context of achieving success.

Throughout this article, I'll introduce you to the intricacies of the Drive-Threat-Calm triad, illustrating how a deep understanding of these systems can empower us to achieve high performance without sacrificing our well-being.

Understanding the Drive-Threat-Calm Framework

  • Drive System
    At the heart of our ambition lies the drive system, powered by dopamine—a neurotransmitter linked to pleasure and reward. This system motivates us to pursue goals and achievements, offering a sense of satisfaction upon reaching milestones. However, when overstimulated, this drive can become almost like an addiction to the highs of achievement and external validation, leading to an unsustainable pursuit of success.


  • Threat System
    The flip side of an unchecked drive is the activation of the threat system. This survival mechanism, designed to protect us from harm, can become counterproductive when triggered by non-life-threatening stressors. Chronic engagement of this system, through prolonged exposure to stress, releases cortisol and adrenaline, that can push us into a perpetual state of "fight or flight". This not only affects our physical health but also clouds our decision-making and creativity, undermining our performance.


  • Calm System
    Paul Gilbert's (2009) work on compassion highlights the calm system, which engages the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting rest, digestion, and repair. This state allows for a compassionate, balanced approach to life's challenges, enhancing our ability to meet our own needs and those of others effectively. It's in this state that we find the balance necessary for sustained high performance without the cost to our wellbeing.


Recognising Imbalance: The Key to Restoring Equilibrium

Understanding when there is an imbalance within the Drive-Threat-Calm triad is essential. This involves being mindful of the signs that indicate when one system may be dominating at the expense of the others. It's important to remember that these signs can vary significantly from person to person, reflecting the unique ways in which we experience stress, motivation, and relaxation.

Signs of Excess and Deficit in Each System

Drive System

  • Too Much: Constantly seeking the next achievement with no satisfaction, restlessness, and a tendency towards an over-attachment to rewards or recognition.
  • Too Little: Lack of motivation, difficulty setting or pursuing goals, and a general sense of aimlessness or lack of direction.


Threat System

  • Too Much: Persistent anxiety, hypervigilance, irritability, and an overwhelming sense of danger or pessimism even in safe environments.
  • Too Little: Apathy towards potential risks, underestimating challenges, or lack of caution in situations that reasonably demand it.


Calm System

  • Too Much: Over-relaxation to the point of disengagement from meaningful activities, low energy levels, and a lack of drive that hinders personal growth or goal attainment.
  • Too Little: Inability to relax, chronic stress, sleep disturbances, and an overarching sense of being constantly overwhelmed or on edge.

The Importance of Curiosity and Courage


Cultivating curiosity allows us to explore these signs within ourselves with an open mind, leading to better self-understanding. It encourages us to ask, "What is my experience telling me?" without immediate judgment or self-criticism. Courage, then, is what enables us to take the insights gained from curiosity and act upon them, challenging long-standing habits or beliefs that may not be serving us well.


Approaching the Drive-Threat-Calm triad with curiosity and courage means recognising that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. What constitutes an imbalance for one person may be entirely different for another. It's about finding what balance looks like for you personally and taking steps to adjust your behaviours, thoughts, and emotional responses accordingly.


By being attentive to the signs of too much or too little activation in each system, and understanding that these will differ among individuals, we can start to make the necessary adjustments. Whether it's incorporating more relaxation techniques to counteract an overactive threat system, finding new sources of motivation to boost a lagging drive, or setting boundaries to ensure calm doesn't turn into disengagement, the goal is a harmonious balance that supports both high performance and wellbeing.

Strategies and Next Steps for Maintaining Balance

Maintaining balance within the Drive-Threat-Calm framework is pivotal for sustaining both performance and wellbeing. Here are three targeted strategies for each system to help you navigate towards a more harmonious state. By embracing these strategies and being mindful of the delicate interplay between drive, threat, and calm, you can navigate towards a more balanced and fulfilling professional and personal life.

Drive System Strategies

  • Set Clear, Achievable Goals: Break down your ambitions into manageable steps. Celebrate small victories to sustain motivation without overstimulating your drive.
  • Mindful Engagement: Practice mindfulness to stay present and engaged with your tasks, reducing the chase for constant stimulation.
  • Leisure and Downtime: Intentionally schedule leisure activities or hobbies that bring you joy without being tied to productivity, helping to moderate the dopamine-driven pursuit of success.


Threat System Strategies

  • Stress Management Techniques: Regularly practice stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery to counteract the fight-or-flight response.
  • Cognitive Restructuring: Use Cognitive-Behavioral Tools (CBT) techniques to challenge and reframe catastrophic thinking patterns that activate the threat system. Replace them with more balanced and realistic thoughts.
  • Physical Activity: Engage in regular physical exercise, which can be a potent antidote to stress, helping to lower cortisol levels and increase feelings of wellbeing.


Calm System Strategies

  • Daily Mindfulness or Meditation: Incorporate a daily practice of mindfulness or meditation to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a state of calm and reducing stress.
  • Social Connection: Foster meaningful relationships and social activities that encourage positive interactions, supporting emotional regulation and a sense of calm.
  • Gratitude Practices: Keep a gratitude journal or regularly reflect on things you are thankful for, enhancing positive emotions and fostering a sense of peace and contentment.

Next Steps for Implementing These Strategies

  • Reflect on Your Current State
    Take a moment to assess which system might be out of balance for you. Are you feeling overly driven, constantly threatened, or unable to access a state of calm?
  • Choose One Strategy to Start
    Select one strategy from the system you wish to balance first. Implementing too many changes at once can be overwhelming, so start with one and build from there.
  • Monitor Your Progress
    Keep a journal or notes on your experiences as you implement these strategies. Note any changes in your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours.
  • Adjust as Needed
    If a strategy isn’t working for you, don’t hesitate to try another. Finding what works best for you is a personal journey and may require some experimentation.
  • Seek Support
    Remember, it's okay to seek help from professionals, such as therapists or coaches, especially if you're struggling to find balance on your own.
References & Further Reading
  • Schultz, W. (2007). Behavioural dopamine signals. Trends in Neurosciences, 30(5), 203-210.
  • Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life's Challenges. Constable.

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